Marriage can sometimes feel like an uphill battle where you have to carry every bag and weight known to man. But there is hope in marriage and hope in doing the things it takes to keep your marriage STRONG!
If you’ve been here a while you know my husband and I have been together since we were teenagers. While most of the time this is the beautiful love story that pops into your mind. Sometimes it’s a whirlwind of trying to find ourselves in the midst of work, parenting, hormones, and the outside world. We’ve had lots of hang-ups as we grew up especially once we started to build a family.
According to Institute for Family Studies: The new Census data, the median duration of current marriages in the U.S. has increased almost one year in the recent decade, from 19 years in 2010 to 19.8 years in 2019.
(that’s a win in my book)
Life seems to change quickly when the kids come. The give and take barriers become stressed by those that need everything you have to give. Staying connected in a space filled with mommy and daddy tugs and little loves that fill your heart and your mind can seem almost impossible.
It’s hard, one of the hardest things we’ve dealt with; but if you’re committed at stay the course you can get through it.
A little Story
After, having kids I kinda put my husband on the back burner. Motherhood hit me hard, breastfeeding hit me even harder and basically knocked out anything I called normal in my marriage.
My husband was the last thing I could worry about, honestly the last thing I thought I had to worry about. But as I went deeper into motherhood we quickly grew further apart.
After hitting a wall in our marriage…I had to really plan on being intentional about taking time for both myself and my marriage. I’m happy this story has a happy ending but we had to put the work in to ensure we got what we had, BACK and changed for the better.
I know this is something all new parents and married couples go through so I really want to share our story. When I was feeling overwhelmed with our six girls I wrote 7 Characteristics of A Good Marriage & 5 Ways To Pray For Your Husbands Success! ( this comes with a FREE printable)
How Can Couples Build A Strong Marriage?
To be in a happy marriage or even a happy relationship for that matter you must be intentional. Knowing how to love your spouse, when to pull back and when to give should be at the forefront of all decisions.
Now that you know marriage is not all rainbows and butterflies we can move into what it really means to work hard for it.
Lets Get Into The Five Elements Of A Strong Marriage
- Prayer Time: Every person in a marriage has to commit to spending time with God both on their own and collectively. There is a threefold cord in a marriage. Husband + Wife + God Knowing this will get you through a lot that comes at you.
- FUN: Yes, fun. find an activity at least one thing that you can share on a light note; where you can let everything heavy go and just enjoy each other. Just recently Hubby and I purchased a Relationship Booster Bundle From Love Minus Limits that was just what we needed. (Check it out)
- Sharing Intentional Love: To be intentional with your love means really taking the time to seek out your spouse’s Love Languages. I found this site that will give you a little quiz to help you find out what percentage of each love language you are. (click here to take the quiz)
- Trust, That You Don’t Have To Second Guess: Trust is a factor you can never leave out. It’s the foundation of every strong. If you have to second guess the trust you give to your spouse, there may still be some things you should clear up. If your constantly wondering about their phone, their whereabouts, or their intentions the trust you need to sustain a marriage is not there and you should revisit why.
- Having your own thing: Each person in a strong marriage has something they feel strongly about. Be it a passion, focus, or a career goal. This gives them something to discuss when they are together or something to have a bit of identity that’s all their own. (which is so important)
Of course, this list can go on and on as there are so many aspects to marriage. Please note each marriage is different as we are all unique in the way we do and see relationships. These core values will help you build a foundation to sustain your marriage for years to come.
How Do You Know If You Have A Strong Marriage?
Living in a strong marriage feels safe, kind, and loving. No, each day won’t be sunny. But you know you have someone that will care about how your day went or why you didn’t feel safe. And that is the magic of a strong marriage.
Practical things to do:
Start slow, marriage doesn’t change overnight. Take one thing you want to change and try to work on that intentionally.
Love on yourself, this gives you time to really soak in what you like and what you don’t like.
Spend time with God, ask him what to do for both yourself and your spouse.
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